7. Introducing Heisenberg He's fond of hugs. I weigh 300 lbs. and am 6'1". He's nearly as large.

Meet Heisenberg, a massive companion with an even larger heart. Despite his impressive size, his preferred activity is exchanging hugs with his owner. This tender giant demonstrates that love and warmth have no boundaries, and sometimes the largest animals possess the gentlest spirits.
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Presents a coherent ontology.
Abstract layer not overextended.